Except for my psychiatrist, I have never told anyone this – I have suffered with the eating disorder Bulimia since the age of 12. Some weeks and months can be good, others can be horrendous and thus causing my weight and general health to fluctuate greatly. I would binge eat in huge quantities, chocolate and sweets being the binge foods of choice before then purging myself of these sins by either intentionally throwing up or more commonly in recent years with the use of over the counter readily available laxatives.
Since February, I had noticed that things had got progressively worse, so much so that my weight was plummeting despite eating a lot more food. I had lost 20.5kg in the space of 4 months dropping at one point to 92kgs.
But then came New Wine, my ‘holiday’ and time to relax and refresh. New Wine is a pair of annual week-long Christian Conferences held in July/August each year in Somerset, with all the worship, ministry and teaching you could want.
Whilst at the 1st of this year’s conferences, I went to a seminar titled ‘Body Image and Eating Disorders’ purely to learn more about eating disorders and how I could harness my Christian faith to hopefully beat it once and for all. At the end of the seminar there was a time to receive ministry and during the ministry time, I was prayed for and I prayed that I would be given the strength to overcome Bulimia. But I was a little silly and prayed that I would be able to get through the rest of New Wine before committing to beating it and for renewal in my life.
Oh how silly I was, because fast forward a few days later to the 2nd of the conferences, I was in the Hungry venue with Paul and Lou, my vicar and his wife, and another friend from our church when the song ‘Break Every Chain’ was sung. And wham! That is when God hit me, ministering to my exact need and saying ‘Now is the time! I am breaking you free from the shackles of your Bulimia right now, not after you go home but NOW!’
Since that evening last Tuesday, I have not once wanted to over eat or done so, nor have I at any time wanted or felt the urge to purge after eating. I even binned all my laxatives that very night, I no longer possess any.
I am hugely blessed and grateful that God chose to release me from these chains I have had around me for almost 16 years. It just shows that when you choose to let God enter your life, he will. I only left it ajar by saying ‘when I am ready’ but He forced His way in through the door and intervened on His terms – it was my choice to accept His intervention in my life and I am so, so glad I have done.
There were other things that happened in the ministry time at the end of the Tuesday night and I will share them in due course.
As Don Moen said in his song ‘God is good, all the time’, I can happily respond saying: ‘All the time, God is good!’